No matter who you are, the idea that your spouse no longer wants to be with you can be upsetting. You may be frustrated and angry, and those feelings are valid.
At the same time, you do need to be careful about how you approach your divorce. Making decisions out of anger or when you’re upset could lead to a poorer outcome, so it’s better to focus on balancing your emotions and moving forward only when you’re calm.
Emotions can hurt your divorce negotiations
Being emotional is normal when your relationship is ending, but being too emotional when you’re working on your separation agreement, custody plan or other details related to your divorce could hurt you. Someone who is irrational or who causes conflicts is going to have a harder time getting through a divorce than someone who can set reasonable expectations and work together with their ex to resolve the necessary issues.
How can you approach your divorce better?
To approach your divorce in a way that minimizes conflict, your goal should be to focus on making decisions only when you’re in a calm state and have had the time to go over all the legal documents. For example, if your spouse suggests a parenting plan that you feel takes too much time away from you, you may be very upset. Instead of sending an angry email or getting upset at your spouse, consider agreeing to review the request and taking 24 or 48 hours to do so. Approach any request from a business-minded standpoint. Think about what would be best for you, what might be best for others involved and how your decision may affect you in the future.
If you’re having a hard time dealing with your spouse directly, you may want to talk to your divorce attorney about standing in as a buffer. Have them give you documents after they’ve reviewed them and talk with them to get a feel for what to expect. Set reasonable expectations and goals, and you may find it much easier to reach the resolutions you’re looking for as you move forward.