One of the first steps you will need to take when getting a divorce is just to tell your children what you have decided. This is best done as a family conversation with everyone involved.
At the time, you will likely be focused on your own concerns, as will your spouse. It feels most natural to talk about these things. But what do your children want to know? What questions are they going to have? You need to make sure to address these, as well.
Examples of questions children ask
Clearly, every family has a unique situation, and children may have very different questions from one to another, but here are a few of the most common things they tend to wonder about:
- Why is this happening?
- Don’t you love each other? Why not?
- Does this mean you might not love me someday?
- Where am I going to live?
- Am I never going to see mom or dad again?
- Do I still get to live near my friends or go to my school?
- What did you do to cause this?
- What did I do to cause this?
- Are you going to get back together?
Remember that children need emotional support more than anything. They also need reassurance. For instance, you know they didn’t cause your divorce, but they may feel like they did — even if you tell them otherwise. Make sure you consider their perspective and give them constant reassurance.
Setting up a parenting plan
Deciding how you and your ex will co-parent is a major part of a divorce with kids. Take the time to look into all of the options you have to set it up.